Curious

August 10 2021

FRIENDO'S ADVICE

We all have problems in our lives, spanning from the existential to the very mundane, and Friendo, the featureless sexless life-size puppet we use in many of our productions thinks friendo can help.

So we've compiled some of these deep questions in a column we're calling FRIENDO'S ADVICE.

Dear Friendo,

My head is stuck in this jar. How do I get my head out of this jar????

Curious in New York City

Dear Curious,

As everyone well knows, I recently took a star turn in spit&vigor's off-broadway debut as the title role in The Wake of Dorcas Kelly. I became the corpse of infamous brothel madam Dorcas Kelly. Now, they had many jars in Dublin 1761, when the play takes place. They were slightly different than our modern jars, in that they were more primitive and perhaps wobbly. And their labels were pasted on, with paste and a paintbrush, and they were very frequently hand-made labels or at least hand-printed.

As an off-broadway star, one must be aware of all kinds of things that your character would have known and lived, which in part means knowing all kinds of jars. I must seethe jars from 1761, I must know what they look and feel like. As Dorcas Kelly, I must have touched some of these very jars before my untimely and significant death! I would have untied the twine holding the small bit of gingham to the lid of the jar, I would have taken my slimy little human tongue and licked the contents out of the jar, as humans do, and perhaps, if the jar were large enough, I might have gotten my head stuck in that jar.

Anyway, put some oil on the rim and ease it off slowly without panicking. And stop keeping treats in jars, that's evidently somewhat beyond your current level of ability.

I hope that helps, human!

Sincerely,

Friendo

Do you have a question you'd like to ask the featureless sexless life-size puppet we use in many of our productions? Indeed, Friendo wishes to advise you. Please write to inquiries@spitnvigor.com.