Hopeless in NYC

July 8 2021

FRIENDO'S ADVICE

We all have problems in our lives, spanning from the existential to the very mundane, and Friendo, the featureless sexless life-size puppet we use in many of our productions thinks friendo can help.

So we've compiled some of these deep questions in a column we're calling FRIENDO'S ADVICE.

Dear Friendo,

Say I wanted to make a donation to a small, independent theater company that was looking to create a space for artists. Like, say, a blackbox theater mixed with some kind of artists' salon. A place where someone could get an alcoholic or non-alcoholic cocktail, and have a deep conversation about some challenging art?

I'd like to donate to a company that was a bit irreverent, a bit chaotic, a bit fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants, who reuse and recycle all of their materials and contribute to a larger conversation about gender and class in many of their productions. Where could I find a company like that, to give my money to?

I hope you can help!

Thanks,

Hopeless in NYC

Dear Hopeless,

Well, spit&vigor, you certainly must be quite hopeless to be writing me here after I have CLEARLY laid out in my many, many heated email exchanges with the "company", I WILL NOT BE PIMPED.

Have your money-grubbing fundraisers. Shake down your loyal audience and patrons of the arts. Do what you must. But leave me OUT of it.

I will not respond to idle threats about "what a nice cozy studio I am stored in" and "wouldn't it be a shame if we couldn't pay the rent anymore". Get into film, you heathens. That's where the money is.

I am blocking THIS email as well, so you'll have to revert to slipping me notes under the door like during the last "fundraising event". GOOD DAY TO YOU.

I hope that helps, human!

Sincerely,

Friendo

Do you have a question you'd like to ask the featureless sexless life-size puppet we use in many of our productions? Indeed, Friendo wishes to advise you. Please write to inquiries@spitnvigor.com.

And would you like to donate to our campaign to start a small blackbox theater and artists' salon?

Please click here.