Point / Counterpoint

Jan 11 2021

FRIENDO'S ADVICE

We all have problems in our lives, spanning from the existential to the very mundane, and Friendo, the featureless sexless life-size puppet we use in many of our productions thinks friendo can help.

So we've compiled some of these deep questions in a column we're calling FRIENDO'S ADVICE.

This week, we are featuring a friendly POINT / COUNTERPOINT between advice columnist and undead puppet Friendo, and Artistic Director of spit&vigor, Sara Fellini.

POINT, by Sara Fellini: The spit&vigor production team was well within its rights to respectfully decline Friendo's frequent attempts to audition for our upcoming production of ECTOPLASM

spit&vigor respects and values Friendo's contributions to our productions - both productions that friendo is cast in, and productions that friendo must unfortunately cheer from the sidelines - which we know friendo will do!!!!!!!

As a life-size sentient - but inanimate - puppet, realistically there are only so many roles available to Friendo. And this production does not have a role for a statue, or corpse, or artists' model, or hanged man, or some other type of dead person, etc.

So, while we appreciate the enthusiasm... the aggressive, aggressive enthusiasm... the reality is that we simply cannot accomodate Friendo in every spit&vigor production.

COUNTERPOINT, by Friendo: Friendo should be in Ectoplasm.

FRIENDO should be in Ectoplasm. Nay, Friendo should be in ALL theatrical productions.

HOW interesting that after my star turn as the corpse of Dorcas Kelly (the TITLE ROLE) in The Wake of Dorcas Kelly this past July, suddenly the roles have dried up at spit&vigor theatre company!! HMM!! Could it be that a certain Artistic Director is... jealous??

INTERESTING that now I can't even get an AUDITION at the theater company that I helped build from the ground up, and in whose studio I currently reside, a dusty PRISON! with my pet and life partner Murder Bird, who - I might add - has not been cast in a production since she played a stuffed grouse in the home of Lord Byron in Mary's Little Monster, in July 2019!!! Is there no room for a taxidermied grouse at the well-furnished home of Madame Montfort in Ectoplasm? Does Madame Montfort have an aversion to avian taxidermy? Hmmm I don't recall reading that in the script. AND YES I READ IT.

In short, it's Artistic Director Sara Fellini who should need to beg for auditions, scrounging like some living, non-taxidermied grouse. Has anyone ever seen her tread the boards? "Sentient but inanimate", indeed.

Sincerely,

Friendo

Do you have a question you'd like to ask the featureless sexless life-size puppet we use in many of our productions? Indeed, Friendo wishes to advise you. Please write to inquiries@spitnvigor.com.