Swinging without a net

Nov 11 2021

FRIENDO'S ADVICE

We all have problems in our lives, spanning from the existential to the very mundane, and Friendo, the featureless sexless life-size puppet we use in many of our productions thinks friendo can help.

So we've compiled some of these deep questions in a column we're calling FRIENDO'S ADVICE.

Dear Friendo,

All my friends are constantly telling me to read your column and to be honest I never really wanted to. I’ll rephrase that, I didn’t want to ask for help. If I’m honest with myself and with you I was afraid of seeming weak, of showing any weakness. But life is constantly changing and recently mine changed in a big way. My partner of ten years and I recently split up. The breakup has been hard but here is the kicker, we work together. We are both acrobats with a very successful and famous circus, I can’t say which one, except it’s the circus of the sun. I’m lost as to what to do, I could  never leave the circus, it's my life but my partner literally and figuratively has my life in his hands every night!

The greatest show on earth has become my greatest heartbreak.

Swinging without a net

Las Vegas, Nevada

Dear Swinging,

Ah, mon ami! Une "cirque du soleil", n'est-ce pas? J'suis certainement jaloux de toi, a basculer et voler dans les airs!

Mais asses parlé de moi. You are afraid of showing weakness in front of l'homme que tu aimes! Comprehensible! Very, very comprehensible. What an utterly human trait, I applaud you for your complete and thorough humanity.  

Sometimes when I am showing weakness, it means I need a little tightening of the thick manila rope and elastic cord that ties my joints together. Less often, it means I need a little patch of papier-mâchér on a particularly weak point of my crisp, hollow husk. Being an acrobat, I'm sure it's quite easy for you to weaken your joints or brittle outer shell with all your tumbling and leaping, etcetera! And how embarrassing, weak joints and patchy papier-mâchér in front of the man who betrayed and left you, surely for another human with some kind of steel or wooden frame or maybe even a party skeleton with plastic joints. Oh, to be a party skeleton! We can all relate to that situation, unfortunately.

In conclusion, if you want to prevent your ex-amant from accidentally, - or easily! - killing you on the high-wire, spruce up those joints! And keep up on the papier-mâchér - always, always, be ever vigilant on papier-mâchér.

I hope that helps, human!

Sincerely,

Friendo

Do you have a question you'd like to ask the featureless sexless life-size puppet we use in many of our productions? Indeed, Friendo wishes to advise you. Please write to inquiries@spitnvigor.com.